GIF About a year ago, a (male) New York Times writer tweeted:

East Village sad girl taking a single slice of broccoli white pizza home to her apartment. #therealness

— Sam Sifton (@SamSifton) May 7, 2014

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below"Sad girl"? Okay, first of all, eating is a basic function of survival. Men eat alone all the time, even sometimes—gasp—white pizza, and nobody seems to put them on suicide watch. But this woman is sad, not to mention #brave, because she's masterminding an elaborate plan to eat while presumably not in a social setting! She's taking her precious pizza to her apartment to avoid consuming food, solo, among other human beings. But even her own home isn't a safe zone for a single woman's mealtime, thanks to the lame trope that women who eat alone in their apartments are all "eating their feelings." Harrumph.
More From ELLEThe expression "walk of shame" is gendered in a similar way: If a girl is walking home at 8 a.m. in a club dress and heels, people assume she's ashamed of it. And with this context thrust on her, often it becomes equal, if not greater than, her own. Pop culture perpetuates this idea; take last year's Walk of Shame rom-com, which garnered a 12% on Rotten Tomatoes and featured —in the words of Christy Lemire, who reviewed it for RogerEbert.com, jokes that revealed "a repetitive misogynistic streak." Lemire adds: "Just because a pretty blonde woman is traipsing about the streets of Los Angeles in a skimpy, yellow dress and high heels, this does not make her deserving of scorn and degradation."
Nobody learned their lesson, however. Last month VH1 greenlit a half-hour unscripted show called Walk of Shame Shuttle, which, according to the Washington Post, revolves around female drivers "[picking] up people from places where they maybe wish they hadn't spent the night and takes them home, thus avoiding the dreaded 'walk of shame.'" The "people," judging by the promos, are all women. And that "maybe wish they hadn't spent the night" bit? That inference is the heart of the problem.

Are u watching for Me tonight... #WalkOfShameShuttle #VH1 #TV #TVStar #victoriademare #icon #legend #historymaker

A photo posted by Victoria De Mare (@victoriademare) on Apr 15, 2015 at 11:43am PDT

Even when you leave a one-night-stand elated, the expression—and the insidious sentiment behind it—slips in. I have both heard and/or uttered strikingly contradictory sentences like: "Last night was sooooo fun but I had to do a walk of shame home." You slut-shame yourself in a way you barely even notice.
Often, the word I really wanted when I said I did a walk of shame was akwardness: I did a walk of awkwardness. Especially true in my early twenties, when the morning-after return from an "away game" was still a new phenomenon. Now that I'm in my late twenties, things are different. I can own being a grown woman who enjoys sex (or even just a makeout-pass out combo) but doesn't always pack contact solution or roll-up flats in my purse every single night. That can make me feel a little disorganized the next day if I did decide to sleep over, but shame? That's a different beast.
I know because I have, actually, done walks of shame. There was the time I took the PATH home from Jersey City in a party dress, after spending the night for the umpteenth time with a guy I really liked who'd been telling me "not to expect anything from him" for over a year. Another, while I was trying to rebound from him with a series of one-night stands, wandering around Brooklyn with a dead iPhone trying to find a subway stop via echolocation and magic.
"The Walk of Shame isn't when you let society down—it's when you let yourself down."
But the shameful feeling I had on those mornings wasn't because I'd gotten drunk and casually hooked up with these guys. It was from my hung-over awareness that the unfulfilling (and orgasmless) hookups had little to do with any genuine sexual desire and much more to do with my lack of emotional self-care at the time. It happens when you know that whatever you did last night didn't make you happy, and you knew that even going into it. The Walk of Shame isn't when you let society down—it's when you let yourself down.
Some of the women eating pizza alone in restaurants are sad. Like... sure, that's just statistical probability. But, like labeling any random girl in a club dress at 8 a.m. as someone doing a "walk of shame," making sexist assumptions about her simply based on her existence is absolutely absurd. As one woman put it in her reply to the broccoli pizza tweet:

If it were a man, this tweet would not exist. “@SamSifton: East Village sad girl taking a single slice of broccoli white pizza home.”

— Jasmine (@jasminemoy) May 8, 2014

Now that's something that's sad—but true.

Travel Pictures / AlamyAdvertisement - Continue Reading BelowDay 1
Never mind the sunrise, Miami is all about seeing the sunset. That being said, get a late start. When you wake up, head over to the SLS Hotel in South Beach and have a bite prepared by Chef José Andrés at Hyde Beach. The pork belly sliders with Serrano ham and Swiss cheese are delicious.
With a few extra calories to burn, take a stroll down to Lincoln Road and immerse yourself in the heart of Miami shopping. Though it may be tempting, don't spend a cent in the touristy T-shirt traps; save your splurges for more upscale options, like Alchemist, down the way. Alchemist has two locations: one on Lincoln and one in a nearby parking garage. At the boutique, you'll find none of the bedazzled wares typical to South Beach, but rather clothing and accessories from labels like Rick Owens, Dior, and Céline.
More From ELLEA few blocks from all the shopping, the restaurant Juvia sits high above in its penthouse location. Order an afternoon caipirinha and take in the amazing views of South Beach.
Now that you've had a pick-me-up, it's time to continue shopping. The Webster on Collins Avenue is a brief cab ride from Juvia. Spread over three floors, it is without question the crown jewel of shopping in Miami. With its supreme service and highly edited selection of items from brands like Tom Ford, Valentino, and Chanel, the store makes it challenging to leave its premises without smiling, purchase in hand.
Wind down your day with a walk on the beach, and work on your tan. When your appetite has returned, head back to Lincoln Road and dine at Meat Market. Start with the cedar-scented hamachi and the I Love Gold cocktail, a concoction of tequila, brown sugar, cinnamon, and citrus. For your main course, dig into the Kobe filet mignon with a side of truffle creamed corn.
Hemis / AlamyDay 2
Miami's Design District is a breath of fresh air in comparison to the sometimes overwhelming glitz and din of South Beach. If you're staying in South Beach, you have to cab it here. The Buena Vista Deli opens early, and is the perfect spot for grabbing an on-the-go pastry before starting your day. This neighborhood nook is home to stores like Hermès, Louis Vuitton, Marni, and Prada, with a laid-back atmosphere.
If you're not feeling the stand-alone stores, APT 606 stocks looks from Alexander Wang, Thom Browne, and Helmut Lang in a small boutique setting on the northern part of the Design District. For lunch, duck into Egg & Dart for delicious Greek food. The restaurant on North Miami Avenue serves culinary favorites like grilled orange-flavored sausage and lamb chops.
After lunch, stop by the velvet shoe Shangri-La, Del Toro. The brand's boutique is decorated in graffiti art, which serves as a playful backdrop for its posh Italian-made accessories.
If you are interested in seeing more art, visit the Markowicz Fine Art gallery. The gallery hosts up-and-coming names, and sells works by legends like Andy Warhol, Damien Hirst, and Keith Haring.
To finish the day, have dinner at The Cypress Room. The restaurant offers inventive dishes within an eclectic atmosphere reminiscent of an English hunting lodge. Start your meal with the lamb tartare or beet salad, and order the antelope for your main course.
Getty ImagesDay 3
Enjoy breakfast and open views of the ocean at the Atlantico in the St. Regis hotel. When you finish your eggs Benedict topped with key lime truffle hollandaise sauce, skip over to the Bal Harbour Shops, which are directly across the street.
The metropolis of luxury brands might be overwhelming at first, but the tropical setting of the property makes for fun window-shopping and easy spending. Swing by Trina Turk and pick up something colorful to wear.
Located on premises, Makoto serves up, without question, the best sushi in Miami and is the perfect place to break for lunch. You can't leave without trying the watermelon ceviche or tuna tataki.
Catch a cab and spend the afternoon at the Museum of Contemporary Art. The art scene in Miami is thriving, and MoCA is the source of it all. The 23,000-square-foot space is more than just a place to escape the heat. It houses sensational pieces that will leave you inspired.
Finish your trip off right, and have dinner at The Dutch located within the W Hotel. The seafood-centric menu is both refreshing and delicious, and the vibe is relaxed. Order the crispy lamb belly couscous or the Collins Platter, bursting with oysters, little necks, shrimp, yellowtail ceviche, crab salad, lobster salad, and tuna tartare.